“Failure” – its all part of the process

Today we are going to talk about something that most people shy away from and that's something called "Failure". I trust that you have noticed I have written the word in quotation marks and there is a very valid reason for it.

When is something or someone deemed a failure and by whose standards?

This is where the question comes in and my take on the issue is that if you really break it down and are very truthful, failure is a lot like fear - YOU are the only one that can decide if it applies to you or what you have been doing.

Its all about your perspective of failure ...

The fear of failure has been something that has prevented many people from moving out of their comfort zones and actually taking action on their vision. As a result I believe that there are many wonderful discoveries that have not seen the light of day, beautiful music that will never be heard, life changing stories that will never be written etc. but overall the impact of this loss will be felt for many generations to come.

This is so sad and ultimately will lead to many possible hardships and challenges for mankind sometime in the future.

Ask yourself the question right now - when do you perceive that you, somebody else or something else has failed? I am willing to bet that if you put 200 people in one room together, you are going to get 200 different answers, because again, this is something that is filtered through each person's life experiences, their background and current situation, their values and dreams as well as their view of the world.

Although the term "failure" has always been used with a negative connotation, my belief is that so-called " failure" is a positive .....

If you decide to look at "failure" in terms of the negative, that's entirely your own decision but if you take the time to move past your initial negative reaction and cut all the outside noise and perceived society norms out of your mind and look at it with total clarity, you may actually find that your reaction is 360 degrees in the opposite direction.

This is not wishful thinking, this is looking at what you believe is right for you and the world from your perspective. Isn't that a wonderful gift that you can give yourself and the world?

Using so-called "failure" to push you to getting better and succeeding beyond your wildest imagination

This woman is not quite normal, I can hear you say... but bear with me and I will tell you a short little story that will illustrate this statement very easily.

Take the single mother that works in a corporate job for many years but deep down longs for her own business or spending her time doing what she loves. Time moves along and her children are all grown up and she takes the plunge after dedicating time and effort in the evenings to building something sustainable and retires herself from her corporate job.

Many of you reading this will think ... that doesn't even make sense, why give up the stability of having that steady income and having more money to spend each month (as the children are no longer a factor in her budget), to now working for herself and doing something that she loves? Add into this picture the fact that some months, yes, money is an issue as like with most other businesses, payments are not forthcoming from the clients, as well as the stress and worry about what that will bring into her life...

If this a success or a failure?

Most people I know would say this is a failure, but that is all relative to your filters and what you deem important. For her, this perceived "failure" is actually a success. Why ?? Amongst others, she is doing what she loves, working on her legacy and making an albeit small impact on the world, but everything is on her own terms and in her own time. Every challenge, every issue becomes a lesson in how she needs to get better, what she needs to put into place to ensure that it does not happen again and in so doing pushes her into getting better each day...... What a win!

But, I must also concede that the perspective of this being a win, is totally due to her perspective of life, her vision for the future and why she is doing what she is doing. It's about what she deems important and what she is prepared to sacrifice to make her vision a reality, but bottom line - It can be done !!

Failure is only failure if you deem it to be

Again we get back to your mindset and thinking about what "failure" actually means to you and what you can accept about it. I've used so-called "failure" to illustrate once again that our thinking and view of our life and life in general is crucial to living the best life that we can.

YOU are the only person that can take control and dictate the terms of what you can accept and live with.

YOU need to take responsibility and take action to getting yourself in the right space so that you can live the life that you were born to live and make an impact on the world.

YOU are the only person that can decide and apply the label" failure" to anything in or about your life. Preferably, never even use it to refer to anything in your life.

Choose to make the best of everything that life throws at you and YOU and only YOU can decide is it right or wrong. Don't concern yourself about what society deems to be the norm - live your life on your terms and to your accepted standards. What works for you may be deemed unacceptable by your next door neighbour, but that is what makes life so interesting.

We just need to learn the skills to accept who we are in our core and what is important for us, not our spouse, not our life-partner, not the children, not the family or anybody else for that matter - It's all just YOU.

Once this happens life just unfolds into the most stunning journey of discovery and beauty that you can imagine, so just make the effort and discover what is right for you ......

As we move closer each day to the end of another year and the start of the next - take the time to discover what you are willing to accept in your life, who you actually are and what you need to change to get there and immerse yourself in getting better each day with no excuses to anybody else.

And yes, if you were wondering, this story above is some of my current story, but watch out world - there is so much more in the pipeline ..........

Choose to use so-called "failures" to make you better and take action on realizing your vision whatever it may be. Use "failure" as a driver to success!!

One thought on ““Failure” – its all part of the process

  1. Charlie Reply

    Awesome read and very profound perspective of how we should be manging our failures.
    Well done Ruth, what an inspiration.

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