Since the official South African launch of the book (From Fed up to Fabulous) that I co-wrote with 6 other authors from around the globe, it has been two weeks of discoveries, decisions and light bulb moments.
It’s been one of those periods in life where you question what you know, not only about yourself, but the world and the people around you. Did you really miss so much? Were you so wrong in your thinking, or so right?
Bottom line – it has shown me exactly how important it is to push your limits and explore beyond what your belief has shown you to be true in the past.
So what am I really going on about?
The importance of staying true to who you are
I have always been of the belief that once you have identified who you are as a person, nothing and no one should be able to change you. This path of self-discovery comes at a great price for some and for others; they have always fundamentally known who they are.
In my case having been married earlier than most of my generation, I only really discovered who I was after my divorce. Even then it took 3 years before I had settled down into my individuality. Part of this process I believe is that you need to be left alone by outside forces to discover the inner you and reveal it to others. Reaching a point of comfort with the “new” you is hard won and must be protected at all costs.
These past few weeks have again tested those boundaries and although I may have upset some of the people around me in the process I NEED to maintain my status quo. I will never again be pushed, either with love or not, to be somebody I am not. What you see is what you get …
So my message to you is – you have a right to be the person you are – if others don’t like it, it’s not your problem and they cannot expect of you to give up your identity to please them and the picture they have in their heads about who you are. BE YOURSELF at all costs – you owe it to yourself.
Being in the limelight – Easy is it?
Hell no – it’s not !!
But, I don’t mind being in the limelight – I just don’t like it. My persona is being the person in the background that nurtures, supports and protects. I don’t have to be in the front of the pack showing the world who I am. I will do it if it is required, but it’s not a comfortable space for me.
The launch of the book with all the media and attention around it has cemented this concept for me. Some may say it’s because I am new to this and in part they are correct, but it’s really not part of my core wants or needs, to have this sort of attention focused on me and my life. It may sound crazy to you, but it just makes sense.
Again, the flipside of this coin is that I will go out of my “comfort” zone and take responsibility for whatever I am needed to do or be, because that is who I am – not because I have a need for the fame, adoration or the limelight.
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My message to you, dear reader is this – do what you love, decide what you are prepared to sacrifice to support that initiative and then live content with your choices. Don’t live according to the rules and desires of others – their path and journey may be vastly different from yours – take each step in your own direction, knowing that it’s right for you.
Shape your actions around the new paradigm but stay true to you
Taking this newfound knowledge and finding the inner peace and acceptance of what you now need to do, is never easy. For the sake of your own peace of mind and the harmony of the world around you, you need to find your equilibrium. Don’t beat yourself up – it can happen overnight or in a few months, but you need to decide and choose what you are prepared to accept, do and become, to live with this new scenario.
It’s almost like a path of self-discovery all over again, but for us to evolve and become true to who we are, is a dynamic process that will always be challenged with new people, new situations and new thinking.
Has it been worth it?
Honestly, yes but I don’t believe it’s over by a long chalk. New things pop up each day as a result of what has happened.
I am taking my time and working through each instance that happens that rocks the boat and finding an acceptable balance, outside of the wants, needs or desires of others. Some people may say this is selfish, but think about this – how can you be the best you can be and contribute back into the world if you don’t have the foundation and guidance of being the person you were meant to be?
Choose to be awesome today.
Much Love
Ruth.